December 2011
2 posts
Investment Fucks And Sex Portfolios
When choosing a sex partner, many of us assume that we only need to think about their worth to us in the short term: how good are they at having sex? Will they be good, giving, and game? If we’re the sort of person interested in a relationship, will they be able to fulfill those current and future needs? But friends, I am here to tell you that there is more to it than that. The truly savvy...
Assorted subject lines found in my Drafts box.
once upon a time, i got naked on the internet for money.
bizarre racism!
I’ll drink extra goldschlager in your honor.
Re: stripper pole
April 2010
1 post
Deep thoughts from me
A high traffic website is not automatically a website with high ad revenue—in the same way that a lemonade stand with one million glasses of lemonade does not automatically make one million dollars. Traffic is just inventory—you actually have to sell it to make money.
(Seriously, the fact that so many people don’t get this is mindboggling.)
March 2010
1 post
February 2010
1 post
“I tried to boil down in essence what makes me so angry about it,” Carender...”
– Tea Partier Liberty Belle, from NPR. Lady, that’s not an anti-Obama argument, that’s an anti-government argument. And supporting the Republicans isn’t going to make things any better—they’re still government.
January 2010
1 post
November 2009
1 post
NYMag Asks Me Questions [nymag.com] →
October 2009
5 posts
Worst mangling of my name ever. (Alpatrom?... →
Thanks to the Frog and its resulting crickets which it is not eating (presumably because it is dead), going to work now feels like going camping.
Little known fact: in 2006, I won the title of Miss Congeniality at the Miss LEZ Pageant. I was awarded a certificate with Sandra Bullock on it and a bouquet of fake roses. I still have both.
Everyone wants to be me. →
September 2009
12 posts
In 24 hours and 40 minutes, I will be 27.
Christ.
Watch“I’d rather make out with my Monroebot.”
Why do feminists hate robots?
It’s the battle to end all time.
[EDIT: The Futurama clip explains all.]
He’s dirty dancing up in heaven now. →
Culinary geniusism.
So because I am generally awesome (and also a loyal customer), FreshDirect sent me these frozen, ready-to-bake cookies for free. [NB: If you are considering buying these, I highly recommend just making the cookies from scratch—the frozenness means they have to be thawed for 45 minutes…and you could just make cookies in that time.]
Anyway, my frozen cookie objections aside, they were...
Dear people I don't actually know,
To be honest, I had no idea that your company was subletting office space (and I’m still not entirely clear on what, exactly, it is that you do). And there’s a chance I wouldn’t even recognize you if we passed each other on the street (though I’m fairly certain you could say the same about me).
But I wanted you to know that I’m extremely grateful that you will be...
The Economist on the recession's effect on porn.... →
What are some sexy mainstream movies that came out...
No porn, pls.
See New York through my eyes. [timeoutny.com] →
Was your Gmail broken?
Mine wasn’t.
You know why?
Because I use Apple Mail to check my mail (I hate webbased email). Score one for keeping it local!
“Being right is better than the sex.”
– Words to live by from my former roommate Rob.
August 2009
24 posts
I upgraded to Snow Leopard.
I think my favorite part is the Quicktime redesign. Oh, and playing videos from their icons.
You don’t deserve an explanation. →
1 tag
Je ne t'aime plus, mon amor.
Is this what it’s like to fall out of love?
(And with an abstract, ephemeral thing, too!)
You have no idea.
Have you ever wonder who on Earth still uses ICQ?
Well let me tell you: people in the administrative end of the adult industry (ad sales, especially).
That’s who.
“Spiderman had sex with our kitchen.”
– Mike Byhoff
“It’s a real shame this tape leaked the way it did. I believe it was...”
– Celebrity sex tape broker Kevin Blatt to XBIZ, re: this [fleshbot.com]
father figures. →
When I was planning my trip out here, four days in LA seemed like a ton of time. Now it seems way too short. (Though if I stayed any longer, I might drop dead, given the rate I’ve been going at…)
Well, more reason to come back soon, anyway.
LA: I like it more than I expected.
Lux: This guy who had a lot of child porn on his computer said his cat did it.
Auryn: Yay! Where can I get a cat like that?
Lux: You want a cat that will download child porn?
Auryn: Yeah, I mean it could probably do my dishes to.
My first Times mention. →
What's funnier: monkeys or bears?
“Should I stay in a shitty hotel for $70 or a nice hotel for $100?…I think...”
– Decisions, decisions.
You can please all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time. Especially when you run a site called Fleshbot.
[redacted]: she might be a top 5 for me as far as prettiest people i've made out with.
Lux: you've made out with more than 5 people, right?
Funny story.
The other day I got off the phone and went on my computer, only to notice that there was a trail of red all over my floor.
Then I realized that that red was blood.
Then I realized that my foot was bleeding.
It took my a surprisingly long time to locate the cut that was causing the bleeding (odd, given that it was a small but hardly hidden gash on the underside of my baby toe).
That’s the...
“I have grokked this blowjob.”
– Me, to me, on my need to fastforward a scene.
July 2009
2 posts
teevee. →