The Surprising Adventures Of Lux Alptraum

A short story about blowjobs.

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 08:14:47 -0500

His glans was lodged deep in my throat when he spoke. “Damn, it’s so nice to have this...

Investment Fucks And Sex Portfolios

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:27:56 -0500

When choosing a sex partner, many of us assume that we only need to think about their worth to us in...

Assorted subject lines found in my Drafts box.

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 09:47:16 -0500

once upon a time, i got naked on the internet for money. bizarre racism! I’ll drink extra...

Deep thoughts from me

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 08:41:46 -0400

A high traffic website is not automatically a website with high ad revenue—in the same way...

Should I pursue my secret desire to make a web comic? If I get...

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 21:53:28 -0400

Should I pursue my secret desire to make a web comic? If I get fifty “likes” on this, I will make another one (and also probably make this one look less like shit).

It is in the hands…of you, the people.

"I tried to boil down in essence what makes me so angry about it,” Carender says. “And it..."

Tue, 02 Feb 2010 09:54:39 -0500

““I tried to boil down in essence what makes me so angry about it,” Carender says....

claytoncubitt: Ryan, Me, Chris, Gawker Artists NSFW Party,...

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 10:58:00 -0500

claytoncubitt:

Ryan, Me, Chris, Gawker Artists NSFW Party, NYC

With friends like these…

NYMag Asks Me Questions [nymag.com]

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:21:02 -0500

NYMag Asks Me Questions [nymag.com]

Worst mangling of my name ever. (Alpatrom? Seriously?) [mediaite.com]

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:41:24 -0400

Worst mangling of my name ever. (Alpatrom? Seriously?) [mediaite.com]

Thanks to the Frog and its resulting crickets which it is not eating (presumably because it is...

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 10:04:20 -0400

Thanks to the Frog and its resulting crickets which it is not eating (presumably because it is...

Little known fact: in 2006, I won the title of Miss Congeniality at the Miss LEZ Pageant. I was...

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:24:11 -0400

Little known fact: in 2006, I won the title of Miss Congeniality at the Miss LEZ Pageant. I was...

Blogs: they’re made of maggots.

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:38:12 -0400

Blogs: they’re made of maggots.

Everyone wants to be me.

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 22:27:00 -0400

Everyone wants to be me.

In 24 hours and 40 minutes, I will be 27. Christ.

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 23:20:47 -0400

In 24 hours and 40 minutes, I will be 27. Christ.

I was a baby once. I forgot Mike asked me to post this.

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 11:07:53 -0400

I was a baby once. I forgot Mike asked me to post this.

“I’d rather make out with my Monroebot.”

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 09:47:20 -0400

“I’d rather make out with my Monroebot.”

Why do feminists hate robots? It’s the battle to end all time. [EDIT: The Futurama clip...

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 09:32:00 -0400

Why do feminists hate robots? It’s the battle to end all time. [EDIT: The Futurama clip...

He’s dirty dancing up in heaven now.

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 05:06:47 -0400

He’s dirty dancing up in heaven now.

Culinary geniusism.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 22:09:28 -0400

So because I am generally awesome (and also a loyal customer), FreshDirect sent me these frozen,...

Dear people I don't actually know,

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 00:44:43 -0400

To be honest, I had no idea that your company was subletting office space (and I’m still not...